Karen's Tale

Sometimes a story has to be told. And this is one of them. Thanks Karen, for allowing me to share it.

Karen was in primary school when she had a crush on a boy. He was charming and handsome. Girls fell for him easily. So Karen was very cautious in her admiration for him. She was shy and the more she felt for the boy, the more she did not dare to speak with him. Then one day her heart was crushed when she overheard him saying to his friends that when he grew up, he would marry another classmate, who happened to be Karen’s best friend. In her little innocent heart, she was in great dismay. After leaving primary school, they lost touch.

She grew up, always timid and quiet. She met a guy in her university who was a good talker and had a charismatic personality. And since it was difficult to make her speak to people she wasn’t close to, she was grateful that he talked to her. He was intelligent and had a good sense of fun. She was besotted. And yet, he had a barrage of girls and admirers whom he talked about to her. It grazed her but she smiled stoically and lent him an ear. She was determined to be there for him even though the circumstances were all wrong. You see he never viewed her as anything more than a friend because they were of a different race. Yet two years later, something sparked between them. Karen was elated. Finally, here was a chance at happiness. But it all ended as quickly as it began. He just broke her heart one day, telling her he needed to talk. He said it just wasn’t working for him. She never knew what was the real reason behind it all. Perhaps it was race; perhaps he never intended any further in the first place. Her heart was torn into pieces and she was even convinced that she couldn’t love again.

Many years passed. Karen was introduced to a friend of a friend and they had a few dates. She was cautious. He was all wrong, and she knew it. Yet because she wished to be loved so much she hung on to it waiting perhaps for a glimmer of hope. But it was not meant to be. He just stopped calling her, claiming to have “cold feet”. In a way, she felt freed. But it was still painful. It messed up her insides. A voice told her she was not pretty enough, not good enough to be loved. Sure, she had friends and family who adored her. But she could not help feeling self-pity and a loss of confidence.
Along came Mr Right. A close friend, he was kind, and caring. And she thought perhaps he could like her and grow to love her. But he fell in love with someone else. It was all happening over and over again, her love unrequited. She cried herself to sleep. Why does this happen to her? Is it so hard for her to be loved in return?

Then she met another Mr Right. This time he was reciprocating in like. They went steady and she was deliriously happy, thanking God everyday for this gift. After such a long time, she allowed herself to open up her heart, feeling safe it would not be crushed again. Months flew by as everything just fell neatly into place. But as history is prone to repeat itself, her heart lurched to a stop one day when he said the words, “I need to talk to you.” Not again, she thought, not again. Her world came tumbling down in the blink of an eye.

But this time, it was different. She turned to God and knew that although times were bad, He will never forsake her, even when others did.

He told her too that all that had happened, happened for a reason. All those times, when the guys deserted her, she had quietly let them go. Perhaps she knew deep down, they were not meant to be. It was God’s plans. This time though, she realized it was different. This time, she would fight on. She pushed aside her pride and her fears and her hurts. Gone was the little timid girl.

And as soon as she decided that, there was a calm, steadfastness within her. Yes, it would be an uphill task to fight. There would be times of frustration, despair and sense of loss. But it was what she needed to do.

And she will do it.

(To be continued...)